Updated: Jan 29, 2021
On this cold winter day, I feel anxiety. Fear. Stress. Anger. Confusion. Not proud to publicly admit that I have been wrestling in those emotions for several days. Not being one to hold anything back, God has gotten an earful of attitude. Yesterday I heard myself tell Him with strong indignation, “Fine. Have it Your way.” Hmm...not exactly a true heart of surrender. Yet, even in my tantrum, God tenderly accepted me...Even the ugly parts...and I knew it and felt safe in His acceptance. Safe to be real. Safe to feel angry and worried. I learned long ago, stuffing feelings will never work in my favor.
Two nights ago I had a dream...without going into all the details, it basically was a message for me to remember. It felt like the recipe for Peace: Remember.
I intentionally sat and chronologically went through my entire history. It didn’t take long for me to realize, no matter what happens, Gods PERFECT love towards me will be manifested. He has never failed. Never. I know God is El Roi, the God Who Sees, which allows me to feel safety in my ugly moments. However, what took me some time to also remember (through intentionality) was that He is also Jehovah Jireh-the One Who Provides. So...He sees our need then provides for it. My need was peace. Pure and simple. Col. 3:4 says “Be content with obscurity”. Be content with the unknown???? How??? To Remember.
When we remember God’s faithfulness, provision, love, etc, we have the recipe towards contentment/peace. Remembering builds trust because God is Who He says...His actions speak truth! He gave us His gift of the Holy Spirit, also described as our “Advocate” and “Friend”. To sit under my blanket on this cold winter's day, with “peace” falling from the sky, I remember, and my anxiety turns to rest.